It is my experience that we may come to a crossroads in our life and the ways in which we have been coping no longer work in the way that they did. We have different choices at this point; these choices define the quality of our relationships, work experiences and overall; life satisfaction.
We know that a lot of our struggles can originate from our past including: childhood experiences, traumas and family dynamics. We sub-consciously replay a lot of these experiences in our current relationships leading to stress, depression, anxiety and general dissatisfaction.
It is my aim, in order to make sense of the complexity and messiness in our heads, that we untangle the ‘bundle of Christmas lights’ in our minds. This can allow us to begin to make some different choices and affect how we feel as individuals and in relationships.
Using different theories for example in couple therapy, I would use systemic theory, which looks at the couple as a system; a little bit like a central heating system; so if there is a fault / blockage in one location in the system, the whole system would be affected. Working with couples or individuals I would draw on my understanding of psychodynamic and person-centred theories. Psychodynamic theory focusing on childhood experiences and person centred therapy is based on the Carl Rodgers theory of truly becoming who you are.
We are attracted to our partners for many reasons; some of these being more materialistic (looks, money ect.), but we are mainly attracted to them through subconscious connections and we naturally home in on people who will allow us to replay family dynamics from the past as we have a natural drive to repair the difficulties we have experienced in our histories. This is partly why relationships can get complicated and end up feeling as though they are a competition as to who has the most work to do, who brings in the most money and other such situations. I aim to help couples understand their own struggles and how they feed into the family dynamic.
When we struggle as parents in a family, a lot of couples disagree around boundaries and discipline in children and this can be a major source of angst in couple relationships. We also need to consider the impact of arguments and disharmony on children, and having a secure base for teenagers and children can impact hugely on their mental health as they grow into adults.
WHAT TO EXPECT
When you contact me, I will invite you to come to an initial consultation for one hour. This will be where we discuss what you’re struggling with and your aims and goals.